On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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