I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
