Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
