Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
