Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
