Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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