when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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