I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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