just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my nose is crying tears of wow.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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