remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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