woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How does one acquire holy water?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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