she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
