I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
