so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
