great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
