yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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