i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
