I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
