ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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