My room smells like vodka and shame
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
