If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
