they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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