That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
