i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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