you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
