What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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