We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
