Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
