NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
