Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
