i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
