new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
