sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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