Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
