so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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