what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
