This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
