nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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