Don't make out with my wife yet
my sisters under your porch take her home
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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