I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
