The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You are the jesus of drinking
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
