It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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