a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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