I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
