4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
