about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Holy shit dude........stairs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
