we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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