i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
