I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
