Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
