I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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