I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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