he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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