fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
